i've moved! 2:03 AM

due to technical difficulties that plague blogger, i've decided to move to wordpress.

please update your bookmarks: http://onthewww.wordpress.com

thanks and see you all there.

bonded 2:32 AM

hanging out with the shalom gang usually means to be in a constant state of side-splitting laughter.

the evening started with moderate chuckles at astons where r educated us on lame serial jokes while we sat on lumpy chairs - even that was funny for some reason. for dessert, we progressed to obolo cafe (again, i know!) for a sweet tooth buffet of various cakes, more macarons and even more nonsensical madness among us.

our bodies pumped full of white sugar and flour and chocolate, we then made the rather sudden decision to cab downtown to catch ice-age 3 (and again, i know!) within a stressful 10 mins time frame. in our flimsy defense, the movie was in 3-d this time which actually made a marked difference to an already enjoyable animation despite the ugly and clunky 3-d glasses we had to endure perched on our noses.

my friends, wherever life takes us all, i just hope that we never lose the ability to laugh at and with each other all our days.

sugar rush 3:52 PM

i've had tons of sweet goods thrown my way lately - that spells disaster thanks to my natural inclination towards sugary stuff.

there was island-creamery ice-cream, all-butter shortbread, obolo cafe's cakes & macarons, matcha frappe from starbucks and now gourmet tim-tams from oz.

all in the span of a week (i'd show you pics but blogger hasn't fixed the uploading bug yet).

i must, must run extra far tonight after dinner with the gang. sigh.

duplicity 3:17 PM

note: there's an annoying bug which is messing up the pic upload. movie poster to come when it comes.

i'm a sucker for espionage flicks; anything related to covert operations, double-crossing spies and jet-setting in designer wear usually enthralls me.

a mesmerizing and hilarious slow-motion opening sequence heralds a good time ahead. julia roberts and clive owens capitalize on the vicious rivalry between two mega-conglomorates to engineer a vital and profitable trade secret out of the vault. the main story kicks into gear fairly quickly and is cleverly punctuated by important (but overly frequent) flashbacks which significantly alter the perspective of the present

this is a good script with purposeful efficient direction that maximizes the screen presence of both stars. supported by a killer soundtrack plus a surprise ending which, unfortunately, was surprisingly sloppily executed, this stylish game of subterfuge is well worth watching unfold.

pound packing 10:09 PM

snacked all pm at tampines followed by dinner with b & l. i totally over-ate but can't run cuz my knees hurt. and there's genuine all-butter shortbread @ home too!

~ sent from my e63

ice age 3 4:47 PM

ever since i saw the trailer for this, a clever featurette of the scraggly mascot of the series fighting with a new nemesis/love interest for that elusive acorn, my interest was piqued.

the majority of the laughs found here belong mostly to the lovable nut-loving rodent and his antics in outwitting a new rival, a glamorous femme fatale flying squirrel. however, the main story involving the primary cast isn't too shabby either. there's a surprising amount of depth to the multiple characters and they are expertly woven into a story that moves along crisply with plenty of smart one-liners, action and humor.

for sure, this isn't the most uplifting or intelligent or ground breaking animation out there, but it made me laugh out loud more than once; so i'm liking it.

wedded bliss 12:38 AM

congratulations to i & s, for taking that huge step towards commitment, for promising to be best friends for life and for learning to find yourselves in each other in the days ahead!

t'was lovely to be back in shalom although i wish it hadn't been under such an awkward circumstance - awkward because weddings always generate that dreadful hair-raising question which plague singletons:

"so when is it your turn ha?"

fortunately, there were many people who wanted to say hi during the tea-reception so i was able to continuously weasel out of conversations when they began to veer towards the inevitable. and with most people distracted by the happy couple, i was able to gobble down 3 cupcakes before fleeing the scene.

dinner at the ritz was a lovely affair with beautifully dressed and coiffed patrons strolling about the grand ballroom. i managed to evade the dreaded topic until one eagle-eyed acquaintance pounced on me with an admonishment to stop making my poor parents wait. that blip notwithstanding, i enjoyed inventing mock violent scenarios with the company in between the fine courses. the elongated pace of dinner was a stark contrast from the snappy wedding ceremony the day before but, hey, i'm free, free, free today, so it's all peachy.

night @ the museum 2 1:55 PM

i hadn't intended on watching this, but with d in town and plenty of time to kill, we decided to after mulling over the limited choices.

it's tough (and unfair) to assess this movie as i was snoozing on and off throughout. i didn't catch the 1st one so it was harder to appreciate the dynamic among the original ensemble right off the bat. the premise is simple to follow and the action/comedy that ensues weighs heavily on a few key and new characters. however, the dialogue isn't as sharp as it could have been resulting in jokes that wear out their welcome quickly or scenes which try too hard to be funny.

with limited screen time for the returning cast and forced writing for the new, the whole movie feels disjointed and uneven. it's suffice to say that the best bits are all found in the trailer. thanks, d, for the company and for sharing my big bag of calories chips.

sigh 5:57 AM

it's late, or rather, early morning and once again i'm at the tailend of a sleepless nite. this is getting annoying.

~ sent from my e63

the spotlight 3:19 AM

michael jackson, one of pop music's most acclaimed and enigmatic stars for nearly 40 decades, passed away on thursday leaving behind a legacy of startling musical talent and a colorful public life mired in constant controversy.

however, what i remember most is the incessant criticism and ridicule that was heaped upon him over his appearance and behavior. he was a laughing stock the world over as tales of his "strange" and "bizarre" exploits made the news again and again.

yet, everyone has a story to tell; i just wonder if he ever had the chance to tell it fully and truthfully? and even if he did, would there have been sympathy and understanding shown, or would he have been further mocked into his famed reclusive hideout?

yes, the teary condolences are now pouring in alongside acknowledgments of his genius, but when he was alive, it was almost as if everyone preferred him dead.

masochism 8:15 AM

i really, really want to adore touchscreen phones. i simply love the way they exude such effortless minimalistic chic. as proof of my adulation, i lovingly went through the htc touch, the lg viewty, the samsung f480, the nokia 5800... and simply despised how slow and inaccurate texting and navigation was on each of those beautiful phones!

what could be more devastating?

so now i've decided, in utter disillusionment no less, to return to the tried-and-tested keypads of yore. the nokia e63, featured here, replaces the 5800 as my internet-on-the-go. at least now i can blog and email without fighting the urge to smash something. hopefully.

clumsiness is me 4:54 AM

woken up by a jarring sms alert, i decided i was thirsty. too lazy to flick the light switch, i fumbled about in the dark and ended up dropping my mug in the kitchen with a shockingly resounding crash. it's a wonder the whole neighbourhood didn't get up in a fright.

so i had to turn the light on to clean the mess up and now i'm wide awake. oh well, might as well slip on the running shoes and start the day early for a change.

transformers: revenge of the fallen 10:22 PM

the cruel curse of sequel-hood is inevitable comparison. with expectations running rabidly high against the jaw-droppingly fun outing from 07, this summer offering needs to impress every single step of the way.

while it still retains the core winning formula of eye-popping mechanical transformations and massively destructive brawls, the plot around the action was severely weighed down by the introduction of numerous redundant characters, both human and robotic. the result is a visual spectacle that is also a poorly-told and overly-lengthy story of repetitive screaming matches among fleeing humans and even more repetitive fisticuffs between the warring robots.

if you enjoy a mind-numbing sensory overload, this is your movie. thanks for the company, s.

making room 6:17 PM

surveying my room: dusty stacks from the office still untouched since the day they were brought home, an amalgam of papers and wires all over the writing table and little untidy mounds of books everywhere. i think i need to get rid of some stuff.

so began the process of realizing i actually had 3 phones stashed away in my shelf where all the empty boxes of tech toys are sent to collect dust (or await re-sale). so i put up a couple of ads online last night and am heading out for the first transaction already.

bye bye.

late night report 2:44 AM

so the breaking news for the evening has to be the brand-spanking new cluster of h1n1 cases discovered right in pasir ris, riverlife church to be exact - which is mere minutes away from me.

the prospect of catching this famed flu doesn't particularly alarm me. in fact, i think the quarantine, as long as it doesn't involve some form of house arrest, would be much welcomed with open arms and a grateful smile. some alone time away in a resort sounds good, no matter the reason for being there. well, i can hope, can't i?

anyway, on to other newsworthy snippets. i had to give my legs a break today from all the running i have been subjecting them to lately, so i felt kinda lousy for not burning any calories and attempted more push ups as a poor substitute of sorts.

today's evening program was dinner at a's where he demonstrated steady improvement on his soon-to-be signature culinary offerings of pasta and chicken-wings stew. special thanks also to d & c for introducing us to the spectacular delight of salted-caramel macaroons. the rest of the gang enjoyed champagne and even durians as the night progressed while i sulked alone in front of the tv. thankfully, 2 rip-roaring rounds of cranium raised the mood bar considerably and i drove home humming random tunes in my head.

why? 2:46 PM

painting the ceiling with a small hand brush perched atop a step ladder is really hard work; even in as claustraphobic a space as a bathroom. scraping the old paint off prior has left a gigantic flaky mess behind and i also succeeded royally in getting gunky oil-based paint all over my hands which had threatened to dry into some sort of cast.

i'm not so sure all this trouble was worth it.

i love you, man 5:22 PM

this "bromance" has received lots of positive attention, but i failed to see what the fuss was about.

from the time the 2 male leads get together the movie peaks and plateaus, never going past mildly amusing the rest of the way. despite a fresh premise and likable cast, the end result is pleasant at best, and even mundane, but in a good way, at worst.

lookin' up. thank you. 9:06 PM

it was an unbelievable scorcher of a day, no sane person should be outdoors, but there i was, all the way at central lunching with old friends and new.

the highlight of the torturous trip there was a gladly-received comment from r about my weight loss. her astonishment resulted in me doing mental cartwheels of glee, after which i proceeded to celebrate by wolfing down a 5-course luncheon topped with double desserts of gui-lin-gao and mango pudding.

i think i'm allowed a little splurge!

the high must have spilled over to the rest of the pm as i worked assidiously on tweaking my resume in the air-conditioned sanctuary of coffee bean with a frosty frappe by my side; or perhaps it was impending brokedom which played a (small?) factor in urging me forward. quickly.

the day ended with a fantastic stopover at refresh where my therapist worked extra hard on my stubbornly-knotted lower back.

what a nice day. i must not get used to this.

state of play 8:31 PM

i've always enjoyed a good whodunit, and this one, endowed with an intriguing overarching political premise is clever, relentless and quite gripping.

the multi-layered story unravels like a loose ball of yarn and one has to pay attention to the names, organisations and motives which tie them all together. the mounting tension created by each revelation and red herring is deliciously palatable due to the deft direction and effective ensemble made infinitely sweeter by the inclusion of rachel mcadams. however, be warned that this verbose and thoughtful work will not appeal to those who need death-defying chases and loud explosions to be entertained.

blood: the last vampire 7:27 AM

i had my misgivings about this one but i chose (badly) to ignore them.

korean sweetie-pie jun ji-hyun makes an appealing lead as the lethal vampire-killer but that's about all this movie has going for it. typical for the genre, the flimsy plot is incidental to the action which delivers a fatal blow for being surprisingly yawn-inducing despite numerous scenes of artistic slicing and dicing. the biggest disappointment, however, was saved for last in the final "climatic" battle which left me rather incredulous at how quickly it ended.

don't make the same mistake i did of watching this.

just one more step 3:25 AM

just in from tv and junk food nite at a friend's place. time 2am. feeling buzzed and a little guilty from the indulgence, i went for a run.

that's right. a month after starting power walking, i've finally brought it up a notch to actual running. granted, it doesn't take me long to be out of breath and i slow down to a brisk walk, but i pushed myself to repeat the cycle again. and again.

an hour later, with loud music still pumping through the earphones, i reached home feeling really satisfied.

oh yeah.

topsy turvy 4:21 AM

the months of turning in at odd hours and waking up noontide has finally caught up and kicked my lazy ass hard. my sleep schedule is totally messed up.

press on! 6:52 PM

why people will endure anything as arduous as running for hours on end for no apparent reason will go down as one of the baffling mysteries of the human psyche. but if a friend chooses to do so, then maybe the least one can do is to be present to offer encouragement and bananas.

the adidas sundown marathon kicked off to massive participation late last night and i was there; not as a participant, of course, but as part of a rag-tag cheerleading squad of 4. armed with snacks, we drove to a few points on the course to yell random energetic phrases of support at the endless stream of sweat-drenched runners. cheering is surprisingly hard work so we promptly stopped once our friends had gone by and we went hunting for a supper spot to recharge.

despite my own views on self-torture, i was admittedly impressed by everyone who made the commitment to put themselves through the marathon. congratulations to a, d and lk on a job well done.

terminator: salvation 9:57 PM

one of the most hotly-anticipated summer blockbusters is finally upon us!

this gritty post-apocalyptic brute of a movie is rife with thrilling chases and massive explosions as the war between man and machine rages desperately on. unfortunately, the movie exists at such a visceral and obvious level that the ending credits only mustered up a surprising sense of disappointment at how seriously it took its own mindlessness. great for cgi and action junkies.

happy birthday 11:15 PM

life has often come down so hard on you, but you keep moving ahead with small steps. holding on to what God has promised, you take each moment with a gentle smile and believe in a better tomorrow.

may your faith in our Father never wane. happy birthday, sp!

anthem 9:20 PM

just keep walking 4:51 PM

i've been power walking up and down the beach. the fresh air appears to do wonders in clearing my mind which had become confusingly cluttered with months of ponderous ruminations.

star trek 1:45 PM

the ultimate popcorn-flick, this newly-reimagined version of the beloved sci-fi franchise kicks serious butt with deft story-telling, marvelous visuals, a telegenic cast and relentless action/humor. the current definitive crowd-pleaser of 09, i think even non-trekkies will enjoy it.

pausing 11:59 PM

it has been yet another week gone by where a sullen spirit goaded me into withdrawal for a bit. still, there have been some ups (as always) for which i am grateful for; and i should really try to capture those fleeting moments lest they be lost in the ensuing passage of time.

i caught 2 movies last week, a big indicator of regression into a safer time when i could find solace in the comforting darkness and could gladly leap into someone else's grand (or not) shoes. boy, have i missed that.

also noteworthy was a gathering yesterday which involved loads of home-cooked yummies (i'll pretend there wasn't an obscene amount of butter involved) followed by a much-needed explosive round of cranium which is almost impossible to stop at just one game if not for the fact the some people have to work the next day. oh well, i'll resist the greed for more.

what do ya know? things don't feel so dismal when i pause to count my blessings.

x-men origins: wolverine 1:07 AM

of pure brawn and fang-baring action, this testosterone-laden action extravaganza doesn't aspire to the philosophical heights of the batman franchise, but holds its own through the compelling star power of hugh jackman and the increasing surge of respect the superhero genre has received over the past 2 years.

gu gu the cat 1:02 AM

horrible horrible movie despite involving a very handsome feline. the story is hardly about the cat at all, and let's not even mention the bizarre characters and flat storyline, all of which was badly acted.

i forbid you to watch it. should these demands be not met then a disaster beyond your imagination will occur.

if there're seasons 11:59 AM

i just reached home, having braved an odd drive through erratic bursts of rain, fallen branches littered across the roads and copious swirls of dead leaves in strong winds, after attending the much-publicized chinese musical 'if there're seasons'.

featuring xinyao hits (of which i knew absolutely none!) by famed songwriter liang wenfu (of whom i am equally clueless about), the production impressed me from the little details in the charming sets to the soaring voices of the all-round solid cast.

i was especially taken with much of the music, almost all of which were sensitively performed and even more exquisitely written. many of the songs evoked hauntingly beautiful imagery which effectively enhanced its depth of expression and pathos; one, i should add, even moved me to tears.

go see it. whether as a supporter of the arts or a music-lover, i think you'll have a good time at the very least.

central 11:33 PM

last wednesday, i had to be at chinatown to attend a talk. arriving slightly earlier than needed, i decided to stroll across the street to central having never been there since its ballyhooed opening.

i didn't find it very different from any other mall in singapore (jaded, i know!) but my interest was piqued once i stepped out towards the river. with a sweeping view of the vibrantly-colored clarke quay, i sat on the sun-warmed concrete steps watching scores of tourists chugging by on bum-boat tours.

when i finally turned to leave, i saw this sight and knew i had my photo-moment as well.

packed 8:48 PM

my day turned out unexpectedly busy with much activity resulting in an annoying blister. i know now that slippers are not designed for prolonged shuffling.

by midday, i acquired a new (well, 2nd hand) lenovo laptop to replace my almost-5-yr-old sony which, in tech age, is positively jurassic.

lunch with j's listening ear contributed to the increasing calm within me, and the funeral service of a friend's father this evening also led me towards a little more introspection and further away from the biting angst of last week.

back 11:59 PM

a pretty heinous week has gone by, hence, an appropriately-lengthed air of sulky silence corresponds.

but all things, both good and bad, must come to an end some time, so i peeled myself off my big comfy couch of wallow and decided to look ahead instead.

first things first: resume schedule before said wallowing occurred!

so here i am picking up where i left off; a little gingerly, a little off-balance still, but i'm doing something.

and that's what counts.

responsibility 9:25 PM

these massively cool recycling containers were spotted at the airport. i think that recycling is fun, and not to mention ultimately for our own good, as it contributes to saving the very planet we grudgingly call home.

good friday 11:59 PM

what would i have become
if You'd never stopped to pull me through?
what would this life have done
if You'd never whispered liberty?
i heard You sing so sweetly a song called love.

Jesus, how sweet the name, the name that saves.
Jesus, how sweet the sound, the sound of grace.

so many songs i've sung
but there's none more beautiful than You.
and here i've found myself,
so i'm happy to be lost in You.
i heard You sing so sweetly a song called love.

Jesus, how sweet the name, the name that saves.
Jesus, how sweet the sound, the sound of grace;
the sound of praise, the sound that saves.

every soul needs a savior.
o, my soul needs a savior.

celebration 8:25 PM

i don't get sentimental over birthdays but i do love any excuse to spend quality time with friends. even the guilt trip from a scrumptiously decadent lunch ending inevitably in helpless overeating could not tarnish the enjoyment of a languid afternoon catching up over silly stories and unabashed laughter.

happy birthday, e!

identity 3:55 PM

there are 2 receptionists at refresh , both of whom are very friendly with me. i am more familiar with r1, probably because of my near-weekly patronage, who never fails to greet me by name and to inquire about my creaky neck and back muscles while dispensing sagely self-care advice with a mother's earnestness. today, however, r2 was there with her usual beaming welcome.

"em, benjamin, right?"

"no, " i corrected her with a smile, "i'm august".

she apologies, a little red-faced, and proceeds to tell me that she had me confused with another customer because he looks like a younger version of me.

"benjamin tsao?" i ventured.

"yes!" she gasps in wide-eye amazement at my all-knowing powers, "how did you know?"

"he's my colleague," i explained slowly. technically i should have used the past tense but i reasoned i was there for a massage, not a share-my-life-story session.

"oh, so you're from shalom, too!"

looks like her powers are not too shabby either.

trauma: recovery! 3:07 PM

before the tide of sympathy, or flood of gloats (depending on your propensity towards light or darkness), overwhelms me, i am delighted to report that the naughty nokia has given back all my stored content after a little tinkering.

bartender, a round of relief for all!

trauma 11:17 PM

t'was a long but interesting day that went past. on the train home, i just wanted to plug in my headphones, shut out some of the bustle and be accompanied by some good music.

disk error. that's what a little pop-up window on my nokia 5800 said. i stared blankly back at it.

nothing i pressed seemed to work so i turned the phone off and back on. and now all my music, videos and photos are gone.

my blessing 11:28 PM

there's something intangible about human ties which elude the descriptive power of language. one can reconstruct, in minute detail, what transpired in word and deed of a meeting amongst friends. yet this re-telling, however true, can fail in the biggest way to convey the warm and genuine synergy that can only be felt deep inside the very fibers of our being.

i appreciated the gathering today in thanksgiving of h's speedy and smooth recovery from his recent adventure in sgh. thanks to all present for simply being yourselves and, as a result, creating another timeless snapshot that i can file fondly away as a testimony of God's goodness to me.

knowing 11:59 PM

this sci-fi drama opens with a fascinating and unusual premise but is gradually let down by hollywood-esque predictability and all-round dull performances culminating in a ludicrous and lazy ending which made me roll my eyes. despite the fantastic disaster sequences, it's not worth a weekend admission ticket but will be remembered as my first midnight movie in a very long while.

fatty fatty bom bom 7:47 PM

my parents and i were in little india this afternoon for lunch and errands; but it turns out that most food stalls only open for the teeming night crowd, including the famous yong-tau-foo stall we had intended to patronize. swallowing our disappointment, we meandered for an alternative eating place and popped into the first one we saw just to escape the blazing heat and roaring traffic.

not wanting to hem and haw over a simple lunch and desperately needing to sit under a working fan as soon as possible, i decided to order the first thing which caught my eye - the char-siew rice.

when it arrived, the char-siew sitting atop the sauce-blackened rice was nearly all fat, glistening threateningly in oozing globs. i had half a mind to order something else but we were in a hurry so i told myself to avoid anything unhealthy for the next 5 days, and wolfed all that fatty meat down.

6 hrs later, i still feel regretfully bloated :(

my small, small world 4:19 PM

i ran into r on the way to vivocity yesterday. he was heading back to the office while i was enroute to, erm, not working. it was nice to play catch up before we parted ways.

i noticed i've been running into friends and acquaintances in public a lot more since i granted myself a sabbatical. or maybe it's because i no longer see familiar faces every sunday which makes bumping into one such a bigger deal than before. i guess i'd become so desensitized to the half-kilometer commute between home and church that i never realized how little i did and saw outside of that.

it's important to step outside of our world for the larger one every so often, eh?

confessions of a shopaholic 4:05 PM

this girl-gets-guy-then-loses-him-but-gets-him-back-again love story is predictable, pedestrian and littered with improbable plot points; nonetheless it is held together admirably by an extremely cute and funny lead actress who personifies all that is irrepressibly bubbly and disarming. great for a couple of hearty laughs.

verification 1:48 PM

i was on my way to cgh to visit h when a little voice inside prompted me to check if he was indeed at cgh. turns out he is not, so it's a good thing i didn't end up there, searching frantically for a non-existent patient.

i picked up a golfing mag for h, even though i am completely clueless abt golf or mags, based on the assumption that a golfer would find it a compelling read. and just in case the mag doesn't do the trick, i brought along a slice of fruit cake too.

desperation 2:14 PM

i've just been kidnapped by gangsters for owing 80 grand!

or so the 'loan shark' on the phone is saying to my dad right now. mom just made a police report as my dad is keeping the scammer talking with realistic pleas and negotiations. heh, he's a good actor.

our valiant men in blue said they've received numerous identical complaints. these are desperate times. be careful and be safe, everyone.

stop! 10:17 PM

lil, the culinary genius, threw together a coffee-walnut cake, vanilla sponge cake and spicy beef stew for a gathering today. this is my impressive contribution: carefully sliced bell peppers in 3 vibrant colors, known in exclusive foodie circles as 'traffic light', for the medley of grilled vegetables which also included asparagus, eggplant and portobello mushrooms.

duets 9:37 PM

2 things happened today.

there was an engaging and thought-provoking workshop which was followed by a lazy yet delightful dinner at putien of the light-as-air-bee-hoon fame. now the day is done and i'm so ready to hit the sack. big time.

good night.

escape 9:06 AM

we are attending an all-day workshop at tampines. it's shaping up to be a scorcher of a day so i'm glad for any excuse to be indoors in air-conditioning.

need food 8:30 PM

instead of the usual upper back massage, i opted to have my feet worked on today at refresh.

believe me, oh, believe you me when i say a foot massage can be used to wring secrets from captured enemies. it didn't help that the therapist didn't look at me even once to observe my facial contortions indicating various stages of pain and suffering.

anyway i managed to make my way to shalom when the ordeal was over and am now waiting for the ssc to conclude so we can have supper. it feels nice to be here.

evidence 3:24 PM

a couple of weeks back, i received my degree from australia (apparently the aussies refer to it as 'parchment') proving the last 2 years of school have not been an elaborate joke, or worse still, a figment of my fertile imagination. there was a teeny little problem though, the title on the degree/parchment was incomplete, and on a completely unrelated note, it was also bent.

i'm heading down to the local representative office now to have this fixed, the title, i mean. the office here will send the offending degree/parchment back to perth in disgrace, and a spanking new one will be issued and mailed to me in due course. hopefully very, very soon and error-free.

the loop 1:08 PM

i am loathe to mention 'white sands' yet again in my posts this week, but since i seem to be constantly found there, i suppose i have to respect journalistic integrity over mundane repetition.

thanks to p & a for the little after-dinner catch up and dessert at, *roll eyes*, white sands last night. i loved catching up with you both, and let's try to meet unexpectedly at other locales in future (this also holds true for all you readers) lest grossly untrue descriptions like 'boring', 'hermit' and 'loser' become associated irreparably with me.

departures 11:59 PM

elegant and deliberate in execution and pace, departures is one of the most sensitively-unfolded stories i've watched of finding oneself and discovering release through it. the japanese culture of traditions and rites lend understated dignity throughout while accompanied by a poignant and yearning cello motif.

absolutely beautiful and moving.

people matter 6:18 PM

late afternoon, i popped into shalom where i delivered coffee and updates; after which i took the scenic beach route, bumping into a familiar face jogging, and finally ending up at white sands where i have a dinner appointment in 45 mins.

in a somewhat pensive frame now as i churn over some thoughts, surrounded by rows of neatly shelved books, in the library. i want a freezing cold drink for company but will responsibly resist in the light of the impending meal.

what's up, doc? 5:41 PM

just ran into someone i knew at white sands, and through the slightly awkward exchange of 'how-are-you-what-are-your-plans-and-take-care' i realized how badly nasal i sounded - a little like donald duck but with half his energy and none of that zest.

play 11:38 PM

seems like it was gaming weekend that just flew past!

we had the chance to play cranium today, a clever and exciting amalgamation of charades, pictionary, trivial pursuit and more. it's supposedly not available locally so if any of you readers see it lying around, please alert me asap!

happy birthday day to a, for whom cranium was a birthday gift, and the reason we were able to have such a wacky and loud time this evening. it's also because of him that we got to enjoy butter-stewed chicken wings, butter-based tomato pasta, popiah from glory catering, as well as the, *shudder*, (in)famous goodwood park hotel durian cake which i fled from.

sniffle 7:56 AM

i'm leaky, gooey and cranky this morning, and have been on an unstoppable tissue rampage. say hello to, *sneeze*, the flu.

we love the wii! 9:32 PM

for the longest time, the nintendo wii never did anything for me. i despised the kiddie-oriented games and simplistic graphics which i thought were hideously ugly by playstation 3 standards.

however, there's a good reason that the wii is currently the best selling game console the world over. it's spectacularly fun; and even more so with a group of young-at-heart friends wielding the innovative controllers and screaming together for team events or competitions.

thanks to g & e for a fun-filled afternoon, opening your beautiful home to us, and for teaching us to stitch together open wounds, speed recklessly around race tracks and beat each other up.

all on the wii, of course.

overstayer 3:28 PM

there's this unsettling scratchiness and clogging in my throat and nose that's been bugging me since sunday. it feels like i'm standing right on the cusp of a fever/flu, expecting (and wanting!) it to kick in, but it simply remains in annoyingly defiant stasis.

downing my 2nd steaming cup of herbal tea now, enjoying the bitterness in the soothing black liquid and meditating on atmospheric songs by delirious?.

saved from me 1:44 PM

as i was driving to lil's place last evening for dinner, i noticed a spectacular sight overhead. the baby blue of the day had deepened slightly and voluminous soft clouds were catching the rosy pink of the setting sun. i decided, very naturally and sensibly, that i absolutely had to take a picture of the vision as i was driving on the tpe during rush hour.

i fished the camera out of my bag, fumbled with the controls with one eye on the road and set it atop the steering wheel. blank. the camera screen was blank. i turned it off and on again, still with one eye responsibly on the road and looking out for inept motorists. but nothing, the screen remained inexplicably and frustratingly blank. this had never happened before and i looked despairingly at my exit coming up, knowing that i had missed my small window to immortalize the scene.

when i pulled up at a red light, i was fuming. i grabbed the camera again and hit the power button. the screen flickered on as it always had in the past, ready to capture whatever i pointed it towards. my jaw dropped.

my tantrum vanished as the words of a song i recently heard flashed through my mind:

we give You praise, we give You praise,
and the King of all the earth has saved us from ourselves.
we give You praise, we give You praise.

blue perfection 11:33 AM

on my way to the station, the sky was a smooth and broad blue, like a fabric stretched taut overhead. wish i could have lingered in the park to soak the expansive sight in.

i've been a bad piano student the week gone by; wonder if my instructor will scold me for having slacked off?

dragonball evolution 11:05 PM

i can think of so many things wrong with this: cheesy script, tacky characterization, low-end cgi, horrendous acting and plot holes bigger than the grand canyon. but despite all the above, there's also a goofy charm to it that elicits some laughs and good-natured eyeball rolling.

thanks, j, for the company and yummy iced-chocolate drink.

bionics up ahead! 1:12 PM

i can't decide if this is gross or awesome.

man loses finger in accident.
surgeon designs a prosthetic finger with a usb drive in it.
man now has 2gb of storage built in. literally.

read full story here.

biblotheraphy 4:12 AM

"i saw this book on the library shelf as i passed." lil told me as she got into the car, "here, maybe you'd like to read it first?"

"oh yeah. it sounds cool," i said, looking at the title but thinking of the mound of other books i'm behind on.

i took it anyway and added it to the dusty pile when i got home.

past midnight, the supper craving kicked in so i quietly made some noodles, after which i grabbed the top book for company in the kitchen.

3 hrs later i've yet to put this down!

delirious?: majesty 11:46 PM

here i am humbled by Your majesty
covered by Your grace so free.
here i am, knowing i'm a sinful man
covered by the blood of the Lamb.
now i've found the greatest love of all is mine
since You laid down Your life
the greatest sacrifice.

majesty, majesty
Your grace has found me just as i am
empty handed but alive in Your hands.

here i am humbled by the love that You give
forgiven so that i can forgive.
here i stand, knowing that i'm Your desire
sanctified by glory and fire.
now i've found the greatest love of all is mine
since You laid down Your life
the greatest sacrifice.

majesty, majesty
Your grace has found me just as i am
empty handed but alive in Your hands.
majesty, majesty
forever i am changed by Your love
in the presence of Your majesty.

earthy goodness 9:58 PM

dinner today was very kindly and deliciously hosted at h & j's, where the abundance of laughter and all manner of leafy greens were deeply (literally!) appreciated. what a welcome sight after the fiber-lacking meals provided over the conference which leads to, you know...

g12 11:36 PM

the past 3 days have seen me at the expo where the international g12 conference, organized by fcbc, was held. i've come away with my eyes opened wider, my horizons stretched further, my understanding pushed deeper and my heart challenged harder than ever before.

attended by christian leaders from 27 countries, the conference was an eye-opening (for me, at least) opportunity to experience God in a very different way. i was especially struck by the messages delivered by pastor cesar castellanos, the founder of the g12 movement, who really moved me by his spiritual insights towards practical and victorious christian life.

i also came away with a deep respect for the music by the uk band, delirious?, who proved to me that God can speak through any form. i am humbled by the reminder that He especially loves to communicate in unexpected ways and i was ministered to by this group of rock musicians whose love for God is so evident in their music and testimony.

it show 2009 2:46 PM

i'm at the it show at suntec city, rubbing shoulders relentlessly with other geeks from all over our island, marveling at the endless cacophony of shiny gadgets as much as the sheer number of bodies crammed in here.

my presence is required as advisor and bellhop to big sis. i can live vicariously through her shopping spree so i'm guaranteed a great time save, perhaps, for a slight tinge of wistfulness at all the droolsome toys i don't get to own.

think zen 9:55 AM

brought my mom to kallang area, home of student drivers, goods trucks and service centers, to get her blood pressure equipment repaired. driving around here is quite aggravating so the newly-restored device will be useful for me when we get it back in about 30 mins time, or so i hope.

muddle, be gone! 3:47 PM

the searing sunshine today was a stark contrast to the unexpected gloomy rain of the past week. i gladly bounded outdoors for a walk by the beach. half-enjoying the stinging brightness in the still air, i began sorting out some thoughts within the relative quietude.

not sure why but it's been tough to gain much clarity lately. maybe the sunshine will herald clearer skies ahead.

food for the soul 9:06 PM

just returned home from dinner at putien, where they serve the lightest (and bestest) bee-hoon in the whole wide world. seriously. i'm convinced one of the ingredients in the bee-hoon must be air.

dinner company was a classmate from my short stint in bible college who contacted me out of the blue after nearly 4 years. i was a little thrown to hear from him last week but i suppressed the little cynic within me who pops up from time to time. turns out we had a great time catching up, and i was very encouraged to hear how God has been molding him and preparing him, no doubt, for bigger and greater work ahead.

the sharing of lives is so meaningful and uplifting - why is it so rarely done?

some of my encounters the past few weeks have been rather significant. i think God is trying to tell me something.

in-between 2:46 PM

it's a sweltering afternoon. respite comes in the cool comfort of an icy drink and a most brilliantly-named magazine. we're at the library, killing a little time before visiting my grandparents. i hope my grandmother is feeling much better.

only hidden 1:40 PM

there was a moment this morning, in that hazy space between sleep and wakfulness, where i could hear my dad on the violin, my mom in the kitchen, a conversation between strangers walking past downstairs, the clear call of a bird up in the trees; all blended into one seamless fabric. and then there was this weight, it felt like the weight of the world, flattening me against the bed - all my fears and hopes came alive, lunged at me in a desperate cry.

then i opened my eyes and there was only my breathing.

it's a zoo out there! 8:34 PM

midday @ the zoo 12:16 PM

the weather has been wonderfully cool all morning as we strolled through the exhibits and sat through the highly-entertaining water show. surprisingly, the zoo is swarming with noisy packs of school kids all over. now we're lunching under a canopy of trees on greasy kfc in the hope that we can burn these calories off in the afternoon.

the zoo 9:42 AM

hopefully the wet weather over the past week has moved on to other regions so that our zoo outing today will be sunny. i have chilled water in my backpack and my finger ready to snap on my cam. let's go!

chickens do tango 1:31 PM

the piano instructor added more complex chordings to my already feeble bossa nova rhythm. it sounds great when he demonstrates, whereas my version is, how can i say it, clunky at best. i really should draw up a regular practice schedule from now on if my intention is to improve.

was mulling over what's for lunch when i remembered the soup spoon in the basement of bugis. it's been ages so here i am about to enjoy a hearty chicken stew.

jolt 9:10 AM

the block i live in is undergoing re-painting so there have been workers in creaky gondolas scaling up and down the past week. at 9 sharp today, they were right outside my window, presumably scraping something, which made noises loud enough to propel me out of bed in a fright.

ah well, i needed to practice a bit more before my piano class anyway - now if only i can get my heart rate back down to a normal level.

cool 6:58 PM

so i'm on my way down to tampines to make payment for a course that lil and i have signed up for. i was supposed to be there in the morning, but it rained cats and dogs (whine); so i thought i'd go in the afternoon, but the rain made it so snooze-worthy. now that it has stopped, i'm all out of excuses.

doused 6:24 PM

the night safari had been the plan for the night, but the thunderous clouds threatened us out of it. so i guess it's just a dinner & dvd to wrap up the day.

the end 9:34 PM

i can't believe we're coming up to march in a few hours time. that means my 4 weeks of responsibility-free debauchery are coming to an end.

there are two things that are on my immediate to-do list because of the urgency attached to them:

1. convince someone to hire me
2. exercise like mad to fit back into my existing clothes

stubborn streak 4:52 PM

because of the rain, i've just had to sprint from the mrt station to my piano studio. there's a jazz clinic on today but the point is i'm soaking wet now because of my adamant refusal to be late and my disdain for carrying umbrellas.

self care 5:58 PM

so i just ended another good session at refresh. my burly therapist was very kind to highlight his concern for my painfully rigid lower back and neck muscles. it's amazing how much physical damage years of appalling posture and slavery to the innocous mouse/keyboard can inflict.

anyway, he recommended some stretching exercises and i left making a mental note of them. oh, and to demonstrate how sincere i am about taking better care of myself i decided to shun the laptop as well... and yet, guess where i am hunched over right now?

i'm weak, i know.

moving forward 3:01 PM

i actually woke up early today! by "early" i mean before midday and that's progress so everyone do a victory dance for joy now.

after getting over myself for my remarkable morning feat i enjoyed luncheon with some old friends before ending up at coffee club against my feeble will.

we talked alot about what was going on in church and i realised how much my short 1 month stint away from shalom has solidified my spiritual expectations and values.

choosing to open my eyes to other communities was an exciting, yet frightening, decision. it almost feels like i'm allowing myself to be re-schooled in all that i've known for over 2 decades as a christian. it has been said that the purpose of education is not limited to simple acquisicion of knowledge but to mature one's character towards resilience and personal growth.

right now, i'm glad to say i can understand what that means.

of broken bones & spirits 10:42 PM

you'd be pleased to know that i did finally propel myself out of self-imposed house arrest to visit my grandma who had fallen and fractured her left arm. she was in good spirits, despite the inconvenience of the unwieldly cast, and was happy to bring out food and bring up marriage. lil and i were very amused.

we had dinner at a nearby food center after and were enjoying a little dessert and conversation when a tanned middle-aged man approached our table.

"is anyone eating this?", he asked in mandarin, pointing to a half-finished bowl of beef ball soup that someone we were sharing the table with had left behind earlier.

i shook my head, an instinctual response to the question, and watched in shock as he sat down and wolfed the leftovers down so ravenously that he choked on them.

i lost my track on our conversation and we left before finishing our dessert.

stuck 2:57 PM

because there's a thundering deluge out there, i therefore desperately need to get out of the house, run some errands, exercise, snap some outdoor shots and get some fresh air.

oh wait, i can't do all that in this frightful weather. guess i'll stay home and practice on the piano then. darn.

i'll say... 6:18 PM

if you are around bugis junction and hungry for something good, head to the food court and look for the pasta/western stall. the pasta, prepared with aplomb in massive bursts of stylish flames, tastes exactly as it looks, which is very, very good.

after which i contentedly spent the rest of the afternoon with w, simply talking, sharing, laughing; just being candid, just being comfortable, just being friends, i would say.

i can't think of a better way to make a cup of starbucks worth its price.

running behind 11:48 AM

mrting a little frantically down to piano class now. the weeks of waking up when half the day has passed is catching up with me and biting me on my behind. hard.

so let's move along from my confession to someone else's blunder. as the train pulled away from pasir ris, this announcement was heard:

"next stop pioneer"

i sure did not know we had a pioneer station.

yay & nay 6:09 PM

the thing about rainy days in sg is that it feels so refreshing but looks totally depressing - which gives rise to rather schizophrenic emotions when it does rain, which it did, all day today.

right after dinner i'm hauling my ass out of the house and into the library to start on my book. if not, i fear i may just slump into bed and turn into a sloth.

glorious freedom 5:39 PM

turning in late, rising at noon sounds like the perfect job but the reality is an aching back and a confused body clock from oversleeping. i've given myself 1 month to enjoy a responsibility-free veg out, and frankly, i've almost had enough.

as a way to ease back into productivity, i'm heading down town to meet j for dinner and catch-up.

i should also get busy with the books i've lined up for myself. one would think i would have finished them by now but i guess being too free can really sap all motivation to do, well, anything.

the joys of debugging 9:09 PM

i managed to figure out what was the cause of the infuriating problem with my gmail address book. the import from thunderbird didn't work too well which resulted in most contacts missing crucial information. the solution to this discovery is careful manual inputting of the email addys of my contact list one by one.

another step closer to tendinitis...

he's just not that into you 1:57 AM

with a large beautiful cast headlining intertwining storylines of the age-old search for true love, the writers here have hoped to put together a relevant and hip take on how the current generation copes with the expectations of modern relationships. there is, however, a fine line between sophistication and banality; and this one leans towards the wrong direction to create a disjointed and shallow yawn-fest.

on a completely seperate note: a big "thanks" goes to the very obnoxious couple behind us who felt it was their civic duty to include cinema-goers around them in their sparkling discussion throughout the movie.

movie night 9:15 PM

after another relaxing session at refresh, this time lil came along thanks to a 2-for-1 promo. i fear i may be growing addicted to massage, and with no job currently, be unable to support this horrific vice.

we're ending the evening with a chick flick "he's just not that into you" at cathay. the movie should be starting soon.

what's wrong? 4:40 PM

after using gmail for the past few weeks i've discovered some frustrating bugs. for instance, my imported contact list can't be accessed most of the time; which means i can't send mail to a big group of people... even though they are on my list! *fume*

say what? 3:59 AM

i attended an informal workshop this evening on attitudes and was reminded of how negative self-talk and beliefs can rob us of the confidence we need to perform at our level best. later back home, while bumming around on youtube the name florence foster jenkins popped into my mind.

now dear florence is a well-known name in the operatic world. interestingly, it was her lack of rhythm, pitch, tone and overall singing ability which brought her fame. a substantial inheritance enabled her to pursue singing in the later years of her life. despite making recordings which sound atrocious even to the untrained ear, she insisted on believing she was on par with the greatest sopranos of her day and that the laughter she drew during her performances were from jealous rivals.

"people may say i can't sing,
but no one can ever say i didn't sing."
florence foster jenkins (1868 - 1944)
i began to think about florence and the kind of attitude she must have possessed to so doggedly keep at doing what she loved so dearly. surely she must have been told incessantly throughout her life that she lacked talent (both her father and husband, most likely in the best of intentions, had refused to let her take lessons) and how many voice teachers did she have to hire before one would work with her, i wonder? yet, she never discarded her dream and until the day she died remained confident of her abilities and fulfilled at her achievements.

admittedly this is a pretty extreme example and, for the record, i'm not sure i would have encouraged her towards singing either but i think ole florence had the right attitude. she sure puts me to shame.

jbp shots 9:30 PM

what can i say? it feels really good to be on a photography project again. i took over 500 shots today but, embarassingly, most are only suitable for deletion. i just have to keep at it.

trudging along 3:36 PM

as foretold, the day has been sunny and warm. we've caught 2 shows and seen most of the exhibits already. as it's not the peak vacation season we didn't have to jostle with a holiday throng and were able to meander quite languidly through the park. oh, and i took quite a number of pics so will post them up shortly, too.

jurong bird park 9:59 AM

it's going to be a scorcher of a day but here we are at jbp with our cameras and pre-frozen beverages. yay!

the wrestler 10:33 PM

mesmerising in its brutality, pain and regret, 'the wrestler' is a gritty yet intimate portrayal of a broken man filling the spaces with memories of a once-glorious past and struggling with the irrevocable consequences of choices made during the folly of youth. every gash, cut and broken bone on his battered body has an emotional counterpart. brace yourself also for the devastating closing song by bruce springsteen.

those who enjoy feel-good movies are strongly advised to stay far, far away.

aftermath 4:35 PM

so as i left play by ear, my mind was a confused jumble of chord progressions and awkward fingerings. jazz is really new to me and i have a lot of careful practising ahead of me.

i've just arrived at cathay after walking over in a daze to catch 'the wrestler'. hopefully i can regain some sanity over the next 2 hrs!

lesson one 2:30 PM

here i am outside singapore's finest pop and jazz piano school. that's what the sign says, at least. it's an interesting feeling to finally be here 2 years after the idea crossed my mind. if i'm not wrong i actually feel more guilty than anything else. oh well, i'm going to try to enjoy it anyway.

bon voyage 10:07 PM

to rui: an unexpected kindred soul with a common love for the inane and fantastical, who respects the value of the ridiculous and delights in bringing unabashed laughter to those whom he carries in his heart:

may God hold you on your new journey and give you only the strongest wings you need to fly.

love tested 9:45 PM

we are meant to lose the people we love, how else would we know that we love them?

- from "the curious case of benjamin button"

this quote, the first of several heart-rending ones, has stayed with me for days in the form of a dull ache which eluded reasoning.

after my second viewing this evening, its significance unexpectedly achieved lucidity. the test of loss is the most vicious of all, but also the only way you can ever know if the love you hold is made to weather the ravages of time and life.

what can be sadder, yet more beautiful, than the soul of one who finds, then loses, the singular and only love of their lifetime?

the curious case of benjamin button 9:22 PM

i love the elegantly understated telling of this unique and poignant tale of a man who was born to live life backwards: who from birth learnt what it meant to be old and unwanted, who discovered that his was a life to be journeyed in loneliness, who laid down his one great love to afford her a chance for a normal life, who had his heart broken by his physical inability to be a father to his only daughter, and who gradually lost much of the memories of his extraordinary existence before finally finding eternal peace in the arms of the woman who had loved him nearly all her life.

east coast park 10:08 PM

on a saturday, the waters at east coast park are teeming with excited sailors, wind-surfers, kayakers and happy generic families splashing in the waves. there are actually more people in the water than there are on land. i had no idea we had such a vibrant water-sport loving community here. looks like great fun!

failed 10:41 AM

the annual cooking fiesta had to be halted in its tracks because too many things went wrong. no matter how encouraging anyone can be - charred meat is never special, except maybe especially toxic.

one unexpected thing i did learn, though, is that one can actually forget how to perform something as fundamental as using a can opener.

recipe incomplete 8:33 PM

the annoying thing about the perfect recipe is to be short of that one irreplaceable ingredient which renders it impossible to make. maddening!

i had do some panicky culinary improvisation when i couldn't find the last, and most essential, ingredient on my already-brief list during grocery shopping earlier. here's hoping my special dish will still turn out special.

ikea shopping 3:39 PM

one of the fun things about ikea is the ever-changing landscape of colors, textures and concepts of must-have stuff for the home. after a satisfying lunch of moist roasted chicken leg and mashed potato, i wandered slowly around with my mom until i found a long beige rug which should be a good fit under the piano. at 29 bucks it was also well within my meager budget and i grabbed it quickly before something else more expensive caught my eye. now to find some way (or some helpful people) to slip it in place without breaking my back...

refresh 6:01 PM

it's been nearly a year since a painful knot in my back had driven me to get it kneaded out at refresh. i've since become a fan of massage and have been back here often enough to be familiar with the staff. now i'm waiting for my regular therapist to finish up so he can start on me. just sinking into the soft leather chair is already getting me relaxed.

incomplete 12:54 PM

i (finally) need to get a rug for the piano in the living room so that it doesn't boom throughout the house when i play on it. then i need to get a new stand for the keyboard in my room cuz the current (cheap) one is the wrong height which results in a strained back after practicing.

ok, i officially miss playing on the grand in church.

the wind and the book 11:05 PM

after leaving church, i wandered around white sands agonizing over what to eat after which i plonked myself down on a bench at a very deserted but breezy pasir ris beach to read this book on finance management - it's about time i grow up a little in this area.